An enigma. Not an Enema
Although both are a pain in the ass …
This is what Van Halen have become. A bunch of rock stars who cannot seem to play together for any period of time.
The band – a term loosely used to describe the foursome – recently cancelled thirty shows due to ‘fatigue’. What could possibly have caused these men to be so tired?
Here are those reasons;
10. All the squinting to see the babes in the front row? Physically draining …
9. It’s not easy ‘ Running with the Devil’ all these years.
8. Eddie Van Halen’s son and bass player Wolfgang keeps everyone awake past ten with his ‘rock star’ shenanigans!
7. Ever since David Lee Roth cut his hair … Getting chicks requires more effort than he thought.
6. Eddie Van Halen? Ditto …
5. Roadies quit! Forcing the boys to carry their own Metamucil!
4. Roth’s swinging of his arms on stage? An exhaustive maneuver to say the least.
3. All the hot teachers from the past …? Vastly overweight yet just as insatiable!
2. Ever sit on a plane for two hours twice a week?
And the number one reason Van Halen is tired?
1. Due to cutbacks; each band member had to remove their own brown M&Ms … !
Happy Birthday to …
1938, Peter Yarrow, guitar, vocals, Peter, Paul and Mary
1948, John Bonham, drums, Led Zeppelin
1952, Karl Bartos, electronic percussion, Kraftwerk
1964, Scotti Hill, guitar, Skid Row
1964, Darryl McDaniels, rapper, Run-D.M.C.
1965, Steve White, drums, The Style Council
1980, Andy Hurley, drums, Fall Out Boy
Rick Keene Music Scene 