Top Ten Things Keith Richards Will Probably Never Say

The human riff.

Keef. The original bad boy and guitarist who defined the behavior for five decades of rock n roll offspring …

He is a man’s man. He stays the course, remains true to his beliefs no matter the consequences. For this reason, here now are the Top Ten things Keith Richards will probably never say …

10. ‘Hey Mick! I love that matching sequined hat and coat ensemble you wore on stage in ’72 – do you still have it and may I borrow it for a week?’

9. ‘Did you hear that new Justin Bieber song? Awesome isn’t it?”

8.”I think, starting tomorrow, I will jog ten miles a day!”

7. ‘If I have one regret, it would be the fact I chose the Stones in lieu of the Bee Gees!”

6. ‘I just got back from a Celine Dion concert …”

5. “I have just finished a tour! I am going to Disneyland!”

4. “Sure I’ll be a judge on American Idol!”

3. ” Take the drapes in the living room for example – they are a perfect balance of a satin-based feminine perspective of the Victorian period combined with a masculinity that borders on a sensibility catered toward the Bourgeois of the late sixteenth century.” (okay – depending on the drugs he took – he may say that).

2. ” M.A.D.D asked me to be their poster boy! I said yes! I am so damn excited!”

and the number one thing Keith Richards will probably never say …?

1. Chuck Berry and I get along great!”