The new year brings hope.
Not just for regular folk, business people or pets. More than anyone, artists and musicians require a changing of course to right a sometimes leaky boat. It ain’t easy maneuvering the seas of art, just ask the Flock of Seagulls circling aimlessly overhead.
Here now are The Top Ten Musician New Year’s Resolutions.
10. In 2018, out of respect for my spouse, I will no longer sleep with the man / woman in row 4, seat 6 …
9. ‘ Moves Like Jagger ‘ doesn’t work live unless you ‘move like Jagger … ‘
8. No more gigs with ‘money for nothing and chicks for free …’
7. Investigate the reason why my manager is driving a Porsche while I take the bus …
6. No more appearances at 5am on ‘Tom Cruise’s Telethon of Scientology’
5. Don’t enter any more contests where I have to pay for winning!
4. No more gigs that are interrupted by badly played hockey by the Montreal Canadiens.
3. Before singing ‘when I think about you I touch myself’ at a wedding gig, make sure Harvey Weinstein’s victims are not in attendance.
2. ‘You Dropped a Bomb on Me’ must be scratched from the set list before touring North Korea.
And the #1 Musician New Year’s Resolution ?
1. If I actually write a song, I can stop delivering pizzas full time !